Jyushimatsu Cares a Lot
by AdriRosi
Summary: Jyushimatsu has always been there for his brothers when they really needed it. But who's gonna be there for him? How will anyone know something's wrong if he refuses to stop looking happy? (Trigger warnings inside)
1. Prologue

**trigger warnings: referenced past child abuse, referenced anxiety disorder, referenced eating disorder, referenced self harm, referenced suicidal thoughts**

 **All of that is only referenced in this chapter, but it will be further discussed in future chapters. I will put trigger warnings at the beginning of chapters that need them.**

Jushimatsu was sitting alone in the house, which was odd. Normally, he'd have one or more of his brothers with him, or he'd be playing baseball. However, his brothers went out earlier to go about their day, and it was currently raining outside. And so, there Jyushimatsu sat, all alone with the sound of the rain.

He tried a few things to pass the time. He first tried practicing his baseball swings inside, but after almost breaking things several times, he decided to stop. He had thought about going up to the attic to where he stashed away his magazines, but decided against it. For a few minutes, Jyushimatsu waves his arms around like noodles. But even that became boring after a while.

Jyushimatsu lied on the floor, staring at the ceiling with his trademark smile on his face. He thought about doing impressions of his brothers to pass the time. "Heee," he said out loud mostly to himself, "I wonder how they're all doing."

Was Osomatsu winning anything at pachinko? Was Karamatsu having any luck finding his "Karamatsu girls" out in the rain? Probably not. Maybe he was on his way home now. Maybe Ichimatsu was, too. Come to think of it, why wasn't he home now? Cats hated the rain, didn't they? How many cats could Ichi possibly find out there? What if-

"Eeeehhh!" Jyushimatsu sat himself up it an instant. "Everyone's fine! Everyone's fine!" He started walking down the hallway. "I'm not worried!" He stopped outside the bathroom door. "I'm not worried..."

Jyushimatsu was confused as to why he decided to come here. He didn't need to used the toilet. He didn't need to wash his hands or brush his teeth. As he entered the bathroom, Jyushimatsu thought of the times he found his brothers in the bathroom trying to hide their problems from the others.

 _"It's alright Osomatsu nii-san! The scary robber is in jail! We're safe here!"_

 _"Choromatsu nii-san! Please calm down! It's ok! It's ok!"_

 _"You're not fat, Totty! You're so skinny! It's actually kinda scary!"_

 _"Hey, Ichimatsu nii-san! Let me take care of your arms! They're bleeding bad! Let me take care of them!"_

 _"Silly Karamatsu nii-san! You don't need that many sleeping pills! I can help you fall asleep!"_

"They're all fine!" Jyushimatsu said to himself as he made his way to the toilet. He put the toilet lid down and sat on top of it. "Everything's fine!" His face was starting feel wet. "N-nothing's wr-r-rong!" He brought his feet onto the lid. He hugged his legs and buried his face into his knees.

Stopcryingstopcryingstopcryingstopcryingstopcryingstopcryingstopcryingstopcryingstopcryingstop-

"Jyushimatsu!"

Jyushimatsu jerked his head up.

"Where are you, my little Jyushimatsu?"

Jyushimatsu desperately wiped his tears away with his hoodie sleave before responding.

"B-bathroom!"

He heard footsteps aproach stop just outside the door.

"Are you alright in there, brother?"

"Yeah! Yeah!" Jyushimatsu got up and flushed the empty toilet. "I'm fine!" That felt like the biggest lie he ever told in his life.


	2. Karamatsu's Concern

When Jyushimatsu opened the bathroom door, he saw his older brother, Karamatsu, standing there. He was still wearing his leather jacket and sparkly blue pants. His sunglasses, however, were currently off of his face, so Jyushi could see his brother's eyes.

Karamatsu was giving him a concerned look. "Brother," he started, "are you really ok?"

"Yeah! Yeah!" Jyushimatsu shouted, forcing his smile to stay on his face. "I'm ok! I'm ok!" Karamatsu didn't look convinced. He looked him straight in the eyes. Jyushimatsu made no move to break the eye contact.

"You're eyes are red," Karamatsu said plainly. "Are you sure you're completely fine?"

Jyushimatsu's smile wavered, but only for a second. He thought for sure that he wasn't crying long enough for his eyes to be noticeably red. "Yep! 1000%!" He waved his arms and tried to change the subject. "How did your day go? Did you have fun?"

Karamatsu posed dramatically. "Why yes!" He exclaimed, "Despite today's rather gloomy weather, I still managed to have a glorious day!"

Jyushimatsu laughed at his brother. "Tell me! Tell me!"

Karamatsu had begun to tell Jyushimatsu every single detail about his day. He was about half way through when Ichimatsu entered, completely drenched in rain and holding a small kitten in his arms. "Ichimatsu!" Karamatsu exclaimed, having noticed him first, "You are soaking wet! Please allow me to-"

"Shut up, Shittymatsu."

Karamatsu didn't try to continue speaking. He simply got up and went to get his brother a towel. When he returned, Jyushimatsu was showering Ichimatsu with questions about his day. While he had spent a larger amount of his day looked for cats caught in the rain, Ichimatsu explained that he found a kitten all alone under a dumpster. He spent a good hour coaxing it out from its hiding place, and then brought it home as fast as he could.

As the rest of the brothers came home, Jyushimatsu threw them questions about their day. Osomatsu hardly won anything in pachinko. Choromatsu got some new idol magazines. Todomatsu, however, was trying to avoid his brother's questions.

Todomatsu hadn't come home until dinner time. He seemed unpleased that he had become the main topic of their dinner conversation. "What about you, Jyushimatsu nii-san?" he said after a while.

Jyushimatsu tilted his head in confusion. "Eh?"

"What did you do today?"

Karamatsu saw Jyushimatsu's smile waver. It was only for a moment, but he was still able to notice it. Jyushimatsu was silent for a few seconds before he responded, "I played baseball!"

"Out in the rain?" questioned Osomatsu.

Jyushimatsu shook his head vigorously. "No. Inside!"

"Inside!?" Choromatsu exclaimed, "You could have broken something!"

Jyushimatsu laughed loudly. Karamatsu couldn't help but feel it was forced. "But I didn't!" Jyushimatsu responded with his huge smile. Karamatsu felt that there was something wrong. Something was just...off with his brother.

They continued eating, and Karamatsu made a promised to himself. He promised that whatever it was that was wrong with Jyushimatsu, he'd help his brother, just like his brother helped him


	3. The Time Jyushimatsu Helped Karamatsu

**This is the first flashback. I was worried I didn't make it clear in the way I wrote this. This story is also on my Wattpad. You can read it there if you want. Please review, if that's alright. I love getting feedback.**

 ** _Trigger warning: suicidal thoughts_**

Karamatsu was tired. He was incredibly tired of trying to handle his life. Why did his brothers ignore him all the time? Why did they call him things like "painful" everytime he tried to get their attention? Why did they surround Ichimatsu after being reunited with that cat, while he himself was covered in bandages and trailed behind them on crutches? Why didn't they care about him?

All Karamatsu wanted was sleep, but for some reason, his body just wouldn't let him. He hadn't had a good night's sleep in weeks. That night, he'd been lying in the futon, hoping and that he would get some sleep tonight. He had been there for hours, and he was still wide awake. He had to do something about it.

Carefully, Karamatsu slipped out from between his brothers. He quietly walked out of the bedroom and made his way towards the bathroom. Karamatsu had bought a bottle of sleeping pills the other day. He had secretly been hoping he wouldn't need to use them, but now, he felt he had no choice.

When he bought the pills, he was scared of using them. He had a feeling something bad would happen if he tried. As to not risk his brothers finding them and asking questions, he hid the pills in the bathroom.

After he entered the bathroom, Karamatsu opened the cupboard underneath the sink. He began to move things out of the way. He tried to shove his hand towards the back. He reached around blindly, his hand grasping for the hidden object.

Karamatsu's fingers finally closed around the pill bottle. He pulled it out as well as a cup to fill with water. He sat himself on the floor. He opened the bottle and poured a few pills into his hand. Karamatsu stared at them.

 _It won't be enough_. he thought to himself. Karamatsu poured more pills into he hand. _Still won't be enough_. He poured more. He kept pouring until the entire bottle was empty. In the back of his mind, Karamatsu knew this was dangerous. He could die. But he found he didn't really care.

Why should he care? Living his life was hell. Sleep held an escape. Sweet dreams that were far more enjoyable than life was bearable. To go to sleep forever...To slip into sweet dreams and never have to return to harsh reality...

Karamatsu stood up, careful not to drop any pills. He turned on the faucet. He put the cup under the flow of water and watched it fill up. He pulled it out when it was three fourths full.

"Karamatsu nii-san.." Karamatsu jumped, almost dropping some of the pills in the process. He looked towards the door. There stood one of his brothers. When did he open the door? Crap, had he even remembered to close it? The brother pointed towards the pills in his hand. "That's a lot."

Karamatsu looked down at his hand and the pills. "Y-yeah."

The brother stepped towards him. "Why so many?" he questioned. With how child like this brother was acting, this brother must have been Jyushimatsu.

"I uh," Karamatsu carefully mulled over his words. "W-worry not, my brother! I-I just need help to sleep!" Suddenly, Jyushimatsu began to brush the pills out of his hand and into the sink. "W-what are you doing!? Stop!"

Karamatsu clenched his hand into a fist to proctect what pills were left. He tried to push the brother away, spilling the cup of water in the process. Jyushimatsu had a strong grip on his arm, and wasn't gonna let it go any time soon.

He laughed lightly. "Silly Karamatsu nii-san!" Jyushimatsu said, forcing his usual smile to stay on his face, "You don't need that many sleeping pills! I can help you fall asleep!"

Karamatsu stared at him. He shook his head, tears pricking his eyes. "No. No! I _need_ to sleep, Jyushimatsu! I need to _sleep_!"

Jyushimatsu didn't drop his smile or loosen his grip. "I know!" He began pulling Karamatsu out of the bathroom. "That's why I'm gonna help you!"

Karamatsu struggled against his brother's grip. "N-no p-pl-please," he begged and pleaded. Jyushimatsu's grip only got tighter, if anything. Karamatsu wailed out, "Life's a NIGHTMARE!" He looked down at his feet and sobbed. Jyushimatsu stopped pulling. "PLEASE... _please_...I...I just..." Tears were streaming down his face, and he didn't know how to stop them.

Jyushimatsu turned around and hugged his brother tightly. "It's alright, Nii-san," he whispered, "It'll be ok." Karamatsu sobbed into Jyushimatsu's shoulder. He unclenched his fist and the pills fell to the floor.

They stayed like that for what felt like an hour. Karamatsu's legs were getting weak. As his sobs became sniffles, the only thing keeping him upright was Jyushimatsu. Karamatsu's eyes were getting heavy. It was becoming difficult to keep them open.

"Jyushimatsu?.." he said sleepily.

"Hmm?"

"Can you...not tell the others...about this..."

"...yeah. I promise."

Karamatsu barely managed to whisper out "thanks" before falling into a blissful sleep.

The following mourning, Karamatsu awoke to an empty futon. Jyushimatsu was in the room, already dressed for the day. "Hey, Karamatsu nii-san!" he said, smiling, "You spilled stuff in the bathroom last night! Don't worry! I cleaned it up, so no one else noticed!"

Karamatsu stared at him a moment, then smiled. "Thank you, my little Jyushimatsu."

"Hey! Hey! Let's sing together today!"

"Ok."


	4. The Sleepy Jyushimatsu

After dinner, the Matsuno brothers all lounged around in the main room. They were mostly waiting to see if the rain would let up enough for them to go to and from the bath house without getting wet. Osomatsu was lying on the floor. Choromatsu was reading a magazine. Karamatsu was looking in a mirror. Todomatsu was tapping away at his phone. Ichimatsu was in the corner quietly petting his kitten.

Jyushimatsu was lying on his big yellow ball. Usually when he was like this, he would swing his arms or legs and let them bounce off the ball. If not that, he'd at least roll around a bit. But right now, Jyushimatsu was completely still.

It was strange for him to be completely still like this, even to him. Jyushimatsu didn't understand what was going on with him today. He went in the bathroom without having to go. He cried. And now he was sitting completely still? What was with him?

Jyushimatsu realized that he was rather tired, and lying still on his ball like this was making it easier to fall asleep. He was started to doze off, when someone poked his cheek. "Jyushimatsu nii-san."

Jyushimatsu sleepily lefted his head. Of course it was Totty. He was his only younger brother, and thus the only one who called him "nii-san". "Hmmm?"

"Were you falling asleep?"

"Hmmm..." Jyushimatsu lazily rubbed his eyes. He suddenly became aware that his four other brothers were no longer on the room.

"The rain isn't really letting up," Todomatsu started, smiling cutely, "so we were just gonna set up the futon and go to bed." Jyushimatsu nodded and smiled in agreement. He yawned put his head back down. "Not hear!"

Todomatsu grabbed him by the arm and began to pull him up. Todomatsu definitely wasn't the strongest of them. He struggled to lift Jyushimatsu up. Jyushimatsu laughed sleepily.

"Stop laughing and start moving on your own!" Todomatsu shouted at him. Jyushimatsu kept laughing but stood himself up. Todomatsu pouted at him. He grabbed his brother's arm and tugged him towards the stairs. Jyushimatsu didn't fight against him. He continued laughing tiredly.

Osomatsu and Karamatsu rolled out the futon. Karamatsu couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong with Jyushimatsu. He just couldn't figure about what could possibly be wrong with his little Jyushimatsu. Nothing he could think of would fit the cheerful, hyperactive Jyushimatsu. All Karamatsu knew was that he was a little less energetic and more interested in what his brothers did while they were out.

"What's with that gloomy face?" He heard Osomatsu say.

Karamatsu jumped. He instantly put a smile on his face and made a dramatic pose. "My dearest brother!" he exclaimed, "You need not worry yourself over me!" One of the brothers mutter the word "painful", and he cringed slightly.

Before Karamatsu could worry about keeping up his "cool guy" front, Todomatsu and Jyushimatsu stubbled into the room. Jyushimatsu was leaning almost completely on Todomatsu, laughing sleepily. Todomatsu was trying to push him off.

The youngest's attempts were futile. Karamatsu made his way over to assist. He pulled Jyushimatsu up off of their brother. Todomatsu quietly gave his thanks. Karamatsu carried the sleepy towards his end of futon. Ichimatsu left the blanket enough to put him in.

"Why's he so tired?" Osomatsu questioned, "Wasn't he inside all day?"

"It's 11:00 at night!" Choromatsu exclaimed, "Of course he'd be tired!"

"But we're still wide awake!"

"You're wide awake! I'm exhausted!"

As Osomatsu and Choromatsu continued to argue, Karamatsu laid Jyushimatsu down on the futon. He was about to grab the blanket, but Ichimatsu already had it in his grasp. Ichimatsu tucked the sleeping brother in, and Karamatsu sat back and watched.

Jyushimatsu was fast asleep. Todomatsu shushed Osomatsu and Choromatsu. He pointed to the sleeping brother. They stopped fighting immediately. The brothers quietly got into the futon one by one. Karamatsu turned off the light and got in last.

As he settled into his blanket, he felt a weight on his chest. Karamatsu opened one of his eyes. He saw the kitten Ichimatsu had brought home curled up on his chest. He stared for a minute, then decided he could worry about it in the mourning.

Karamatsu closed his eyes again. His mind kept winding back to Jyushimatsu. Something was wrong with him. Osomatsu had been right, it was strange for Jyushimatsu to be so tired already, especially since he must have played less baseball today than usual. As he drifted into sleep, the one thing his mind was focused on was helping his little brother.


	5. A Nightmare

_"Hey, where are you going? That road doesn't go anywhere. It just ends. Why are you crying? Don't cry! Smile! C'mon, smile! Why are you leaving? Don't go! Please! STOP!"_

"Bah!" Jyushimatsu jerked awake. His arm hit something, but he wasn't sure what. He felt disoriented and confused. Wasn't he in the main room before? When did he fall asleep?

Jyushimatsu heard murmuring beside him, more specifically from the object his arm had hit. He looked over and saw one of his brothers lying next to him. (Ah, so he was in the futon) He lifted Jyushimatsu's arm off of his face. (That must've been what his arm hit) "Jyushimatsu..." the brother whined.

Jyushimatsu readjusted his position so his arm was no longer on the brother's face. It was Choromatsu, if they were lying in the right order. "Sorry." Choromatsu looked at him first angry, then concerned.

"Are you alright?"

"Eh?"

"You're crying."

Jyushimatsu felt his face. It was wet. Why was he crying? Oh yeah. That nightmare.

"Jyushimatsu?"

He wiped his face on his sleeve. "N-nightmare." He didn't like how unsteady that came out. It didn't help his brother's concern go away.

"You okay?"

Jyushimatsu started to sit up, nodding quickly. "Yeah! Yeah!" He slipped out of the futon. "Going to the bathroom!" With that, he quickly left the room and made his way down to the bathroom.

Choromatsu stared at the door, propping himself up with his arm. He doubted his brother was really okay. He looked over towards the rest of the brothers. They were all still sound asleep.

Choromatsu lied back down. He decided to wait for Jyushimatsu to come back. He waited. And waited. And...waited... His eyes fluttered shut, and he fell asleep.

When Choromatsu awoke the next morning, the spot to his left was still empty. Typically, he was the first one up, and Jyushimatsu was far from being the second. Did he not come back to the futon? Did he just stay up all night?

Choromatsu got up, deciding to go look for the missing brother. As he was about to pass the bathroom, he stopped. Was that...snoring? He put his ear to the door. Yes, that was snoring. Did Jyushimatsu fall asleep in the bathroom?

He knocked on the door gently. The snoring continued. Choromatsu knocked a bit harder. "Jyushimatsu?" he called. This time, the snoring stopped.

"Huh? Wha?"

"Did you fall asleep in the bathroom?"

"Aaaahh...no?"

"Then why were you snoring a minute ago?"

"I was...um...pretending to sleep?"

Choromatsu sighed. "Well, if your done 'pretending,' maybe we can both go help mom with breakfast."

"Ok! Ok!" Jyushimatsu opened the bathroom door, his usual big smile on his face. "Let's go!" he exclaimed, walking past Choromatsu to head towards the kitchen. "Muscle! Muscle! Hustle! Hustle!"

Choromatsu watched him for a minute before following. Just how bad was that nightmare he had? Something must be seriously wrong. It had to be if Jyushimatsu decided to spend the night in the bathroom. Choromatsu knew from experience that that was not a good sign.


	6. AN: Sorry for Absence

**I would like to apologize for my lack of activity. Back in early August, I started my senior year of high school. I've been writing this story and posting it from my phone. Sometimes the process gets a bit troublesome. I will not abandon this story. I will try to update more regularly from now on.**

 **As you may know, today is Thanksgiving. I want to do something special for you guys. Today and tomorrow, I will go on omegle for an unspecified amount of time. You guys can go ahead and try to find me on there. I'll post highlights of it on my YouTube channel (my username there is now OddAddie). I hope to see you guys there!**


	7. The Time Jyushimatsu Helped Choromatsu

**I'M BACK, WITCHES! HERE COMES THE ANGST TRAIN! WOO WOO! Anyway, for anyone who wanted to chat with me omegle, I'm still on there from time to time. I just can't do all the video stuff right now. Anyway, enjoy!**

 **Trigger warning: anxiety**

Choromatsu didn't get it. When did he start freaking out over everything? Just a year ago, everything was fine. Or at least it seemed like it. Now, he worried about the smallest things.

He worried about forgetting how to tell the difference between him and his brothers. He worried about something in his lunch being forgotten. He worried about one of his brothers going missing. Breakfast being cooked wrong. Failing a test. Kids at school making fun of them.

Choromatsu shouldn't have to worry this much. He was only twelve years old! The rest of his brothers were fine. He should be fine! But Choromatsu knew he wasn't.

There were times when he'd really, really worry about something. It'd get difficult to breathe. When this happened, he'd try to escape to somewhere by himself, like the bathroom, and try to breathe again. It always took a while.

Tonight was one of those times. Choromatsu sat on the bathroom floor, trying desperately to breathe again. His breathes were shallow, and wouldn't fill his lungs at all. He needed to get his breathing right. He had to get back to bed before his brothers noticed he was gone.

There was pounding on the door. "Choromatsu nii-san!" He jumped. "C'mon! You've been in there forever!" It was harder to breathe. This was bad. He tried to figure out which brother it was, using the slight differences in their voices, but he already forgot how to voice sounded.

He couldn't tell which brother was outside that door. He couldn't tell who it was. He couldn't tell. He couldn't tell! He co-

"Choromatsu nii-san!" There was more pounding. "I swear, I'll open the door myself of you don't! I really gotta go!"

"In...in a...in a minute!" Choromatsu struggled to get out. He yanked at his hair. Breathe!

The doorknob turned. "What are you even-" The brother stood there in the doorway, staring at him. "...doing.." Choromatsu felt absolutely terrified. Not because his brother had found him, but because he still couldn't tell which brother it was.

"Hey, what's up with you?" The brother was crouching in front of him. Which brother was this? Which one?

"Can't..." Choromatsu gasped out, "Can't...tell..."

"You can't tell what's wrong?" the brother questioned, "Should I go get mom?"

"No!" Choromatsu grabbed onto his brother's arm. He didn't like how loud that came out. The brother gave him a concerned look, then his face turned into something else.

"I gotta go." Choromatsu's grip on his arm tightened, and he let out a whine. "No! No!" the brother explained, "I mean..." he looked toward the toilet, "go."

Choromatsu suddenly felt embarrassed. His face felt hot, and he burried it into his knees. He released his grip. "It'll just be a minute, okay?" the brother reassured him. Choromatsu tried to hide his face even more with his arms.

He focused on trying to breath again. He could hear his brother pee in toilet, flush the toilet, and wash his hands. The brother began to lift him by the arm. "You sure we shouldn't get mom?" the brother asked. Choromatsu didn't say anything. "Maybe the others will-"

"No!" Choromatsu forced himself back to the floor. "Nono! Don't tell them! Don't-" Choromatsu was gasping for air. He couldn't breathe.

"Okay! Okay! Just stop freaking out!"

Choromatsu still couldn't breath. "Can't...c-can't..." He struggled to get the words out. He yanked at his hair. His lungs couldn't get any air.

"Choromatsu nii-san! Please calm down! It's ok! It's ok!"

"C-c-can't..." Choromatsu felt close to tears. "Breathe!.." He couldn't get any more words out. He didn't know what else he would say. He just wanted to breathe.

"You can't breathe?" the brother asked, shocked. "This is bad! I gotta get Mom!"

Choromatsu tried to protest, but he couldn't do anything. All he could do anything but yank his hair and try to breathe again. He didn't even notice when his mother entered the bathroom. He didn't even know someone else was there until he felt her hands trying stop him from pulling his hair, and heard her voice trying to calm him down.

Choromatsu felt embarrassed again. He started to cry. Someone pulled him into a hug. They desperately whispered into his ear for him to calm down. Choromatsu wasn't sure who it was. His mother was still trying to pull his hands out of his hair. And she was still whispering into his other ear.

Choromatsu couldn't focus on what either voice was saying. It was confusing. He let out a whine. The person hugging him began to pull away. Choromatsu leaned towards them, hands leaving his hair to try to pull the person back. They wrapped their arms around him again.

Choromatsu clung to the person. He suddenly remembered how difficult it was to breathe. His breaths were shaky and shallow, but he was getting more air than before. The one holding him and his mother were talking. He tried to listen to them.

"...e's calming down." His mother.

"Is he gonna be okay?" That was his brother. That's right. He went to get their mother.

"...can take him to the doctor's tomorrow." Wait. What? No. He didn't want to go. Choromatsu clung the brother tighter. The brother also hugged him tighter.

"Can I go with?"

"Of course. You and all of your brothers could come with."

Choromatsu whined, "Nooooooo..." He balled his fists around the cloth of his brother's pajama shirt.

"Can it just be me?"

"Jyushimatsu-"

"Please?"

Their mother sighed. "Alright. Alright."

Choromatsu slowly released his grip on his brother's shirt. Jyushimatsu. That's which brother it was. Of course. There were only three it could have been, since he called him "nii-san" at first. Ichimatsu wouldn't have entered the bathroom at all. Todomatsu wouldn't have used the bathroom while he was in there.

It became easier to breathe, now. He started taking deeper breaths. He was tired. Choromatsu thought he could easily fall asleep like this.

"Choromatsu?"

"Sleeeeeeeeep..." His head was dizzy, eyes heavy. He wanted to go to bed, but he also didn't want to move. Choromatsu felt himself get lifted up. He could vaguely feel himself being carried out of the bathroom, before he fell into blissful sleep.

When he woke up the next morning, Jyushimatsu was clinging to him. He was also wide awake. "You're awake!" Jyushimatsu said softly, pulling them out from the covers, "C'mon. You're s'possed to talk to this doctor today."

Choromatsu was confused for a moment. "Wha?" He remembered. "Oh. Yeah."

"C'mon. C'mon."

Later that day, he was taken to a psychologist. His mother and brother explained what happened. The psychologist asked him different questions.

"Has anything like that ever happened before?"

Choromatsu stared at his toes dangling from the couch he sat in. "Ah...it was..never that bad before..." He felt uncomfortable. He looked to his mother. "Can we go now?"

"Not yet."

Choromatsu went back to staring at his toes. Jyushimatsu was sitting next to him, swinging his legs. He wondered if Jyushimatsu wanted to go as bad as he did. He'd probably say something if he did. Choromatsu started counting the squares of the checkered carpet, instead of listening to the psychologist.

He heard them say something about anxiety disorders, and he stopped counting. Choromatsu heard talk of prescriptions and medications. The psychologist was writing something. He looked up and watched the doctor hand his mother a slip of paper.

Was he going to need to take medicine? Choromatsu didn't like that idea. "Can we go now?" he asked.

Jyushimatsu nodded in agreement. "Can we?"

Their mother put the paper in her purse. "Yes we can."

After they left, their mom went to the pharmacy. Jyushimatsu explained the important bits he missed while they walked home.

"And so, you have to go back sometimes to talk to 'em. And you gotta this medicine every morning." Choromatsu curled his nose at that. He didn't want to go back, and he didn't want to take medicine.

"I don't like that," he said plainly.

"I'm sure it'll be ok."

"I still don't want the others to know."

"I thought so. That's cool. We won't tell them."

"Why do I have to be the one that's messed up?"

Jyushimatsu stopped. "Maybe we're all messed up, in our own ways" he said, "and most of us don't know how yet."

Choromatsu stared at his brother quizzically. "Uh...thanks, I guess?.."


	8. Two Worried Brothers

**So, I GOT ACCEPTED INTO THE COLLEGE I APPLIED TO! FRICK YEAH! ENJOY THIS NEW CHAPTER AS CELEBRATION!**

Choromatsu snatched the pan away. "Careful! Careful! You'll burn it!" Jyushimatsu laughed at his brother. He sure was fussy this early in the morning! But Jyushimatsu knew there was a reason for that.

"I got it! I got it!" Jyushimatsu said, reaching for the pan again. "Give it back!"

Their mother smiled at them. "Choromatsu," she called, "let your brother cook. You have something else to do."

Choromatsu sighed. "Yes mother." He handed the pan back to Jyushimatsu, who took it him a victorious smile. He knew their mother refering to Choromatsu's anxiety medicine. He was still the only brother who knew about it.

A minute later, Choromatsu returned to hovering around him while he cooked. Jyushimatsu laughed at his over caution. It was fine! Really! He at least knew how to cook fried rice!

When the rice was finished, Jyushimatsu handed the pan over the his brother. Today's breakfast was going to be omurice. Jyushimatsu let at a loud yawn while getting the ketchup from the fridge. When he turned back, his mother was giving him this odd look.

"Are you alright, my NEET?"

He nodded quickly. "Yeah! Yeah!" She looked at him skeptically. Even Choromatsu turned away from cooking for a moment to give him a concerned look. Jyushimatsu kept his giant smile on his face. Choromatsu went back to cooking, but their mother kept giving him this concerned look.

Once Choromatsu had assembled all of the omurice onto plates, Jyushimatsu stepped in with the ketchup. "Now, don't add too much," Choromatsu instructed, "and don't make a mess."

"I got it! I got it!" Jyushimatsu insisted. On the first one, he made a baseball out of ketchup. Then a cat, a face, a dog, a happy sun, a star, and swirls for the last two (he run out of ideas). He smiled, satisfied with his work. "Done!"

Their mother smiled at them. "Very good. Now, go get the rest of your brothers." Jyushimatsu cheered, grabbing onto Choromatsu's wrist. He dragged him along while he dashed up the stairs. Once he opened the door, he let go and jumped onto the sleeping brothers.

The kitten that was sleeping on Karamatsu dashed away. They squirmed and shouted. Jyushimatsu laughed loudly. "GOOOOOOOOOOOOD MORNING!" he yelled. The brothers desperately tried to push him off. Jyushimatsu continued to laugh.

Once Jyushimatsu had finally gotten off of the four brothers, they all went downstairs for their breakfast. Choromatsu constantly glanced over to Jyushimatsu. He kept looking for the slightest differences from how he normally was. Was he eating more calmly than he normally did? Didn't he usually make more noise than this?

Choromatsu was trying to be as casual as possible. He wouldn't stare for more than a minute, and tried to hold his gaze on his other brothers or his food. Once, he could have sworn that he saw Karamatsu watching Jyushimatsu, too. Choromatsu thought nothing of it. Later, he again caught Karamatsu staring at Jyushimatsu. And he looked...concerned?

Wait a minute. Karamatsu knew something, didn't he? Choromatsu looked back at his plate. He wasn't wrong, was he? He wasn't just being paranoid. There really was something off with Jyushimatsu. Maybe Karamatsu had at least some idea what it was?

After breakfast, the three younger brother went out for their own activities. Ichimatsu went to feed his cat friends, taking the kitten with him. Todomatsu went to who knows where. Jyushimatsu went out, saying he was gonna play baseball. That left three oldest at home.

"C'mon, Choromatsu! Let's go play pachinko," Osomatsu kept asking him. It was getting really annoying quickly.

"You just want to use my money."

"What? Nooo. Well, maybe." Choromatsu got out his wallet and gave Osomatsu his cash. He took it gleefully. "I'm off!" the eldest shouted as he left the house. So now, it was just Karamatsu and Choromatsu.

Choromatsu really wanted to ask Karamatsu about Jyushimatsu. He had to know something, right? But how could he ask? How could he even bring it up?

"Choromatsu." He was pulled out of his thoughts. He looked up from the magazine he was pretending to read.

"Hmm?"

"Have you..." Karamatsu seemed hesitant to ask. The over-the-top confidence he typically had wasn't there anymore. "noticed anything...odd about Jyushimatsu?"

Choromatsu stared at him for a moment. "You mean...different from how he usually is?" Karamatsu nodded. So he really did notice. "Yeah," Choromatsu answered, "He had some sort of nightmare last night. I think he spent the rest of the night in the bathroom."

Karamatsu nodded, taking in the information. "Yesterday, after I got home," he began, "he seemed less energetic than normal. He even sat still while I told him about my day."

Choromatsu's eyes widened. There was no way Jyushimatsu had the attention span to sit still that long. Especially with all the details Karamatsu typically used. "H-how much did you tell him?"

"I think I got about half way before Ichimatsu got home." That was very concerning.

"What did he even do yesterday?" Choromatsu questioned. He knew he the idea of him playing baseball inside was too crazy. Something must have happened while Jyushimatsu was home alone.

Karamatsu shook his head. "All I know is what he said at dinner. I do believe our dear brother is hiding something."

Choromatsu groaned. "Worry not, dear brother!" Karamatsu exclaimed, his confidence seeming to return, "We will find out what is wrong! Our little Jyushimatsu shall not be unhappy for long!" Choromatsu groaned again. This wasn't going to be easy for him, was it?

The two brothers spent the rest of their time alone together tossing back and forth ideas of what could be going on with Jyushimatsu. "Maybe he's really lonely?" Karamatsu offered.

Choromatsu waved his hand, dismissing the idea. "No, that can't be it. He goes off by himself all the time to play baseball, like he did today!"

"Maybe baseball is a sort of distraction?"

Choromatsu thought about that. If that was the case, who knows how long this has been going on. "But he's gone without baseball before," he said, "and he seemed prefectly fine." Karamatsu thought hard, trying figure a solution.

Choromatsu suddenly had a chilling realization. Whenever Jyushimatsu wasn't playing baseball, he was with at least one brother. Whenever he wasn't with any of his brothers, he was playing baseball. There were few exceptions, like that girl he liked, or Professor Dekapan.

"What if..." Choromatsu trailed off. Karamatsu perked up.

"What? What is it?"

"What if...we're a distraction, too?" Karamatsu didn't seem to understand what he meant. "Like baseball. What ever's wrong with him, he uses baseball and us to distract himself from it!" Choromatsu put his hands to his head and started to pull at his hair. "Oh geez! Who knows how long this has been going on!"


	9. Some Brother's Playful Bickering

**Guys, I have a now! My name on there is MelonMass. Go ahead and check it out! Donate if you'd like!**

 **And my birthday's tomorrow (Monday). HOLY SMOKES! IMMA BE A LEGAL ADULT! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!**

* * *

Karamatsu wasn't sure exactly what happened. Choromatsu seemed to have figured out something about what was going on with Jyushimatsu. Then, he was starting to freak out. Karamatsu quickly moved to try to calm him. He put a hand one his brother's shoulder, asking if he was alright.

Choromatsu was saying something about his breathe. It sounded almost like counting. He took in a deep breath, then let out softly, "Okay. Okay. I'm okay." Karamatsu wasn't so sure about that. Choromatsu must've been able to tell from the look on his face. He gently pushed him away. "Really. I am. Look, we're not gonna figure what's wrong with Jyushimatsu like this. We'll just have to figure it out later."

Karamatsu nodded. He was right. "We'll keep an eye on him." Choromatsu nodded, and picked up the magazine he had earlier. Karamatsu chose to look at himself in his mirror. He still felt worried though. Choromatsu had been onto something, and that something wasn't good.

"5,793...5,794...5,795..." Jyushimatsu counted his swings out loud. Today, he was hoping to reach ten thousand. "5,798...5,799...5,800..." Some of the people around him looked at him funny. That was okay. People always did that.

"5,805...5,806...5,807..." They whispered, too. He didn't listen to it, though. Jyushimatsu knew they were never nice things. "5,811...5,812...5,813..." He wondered if people were like that around his brothers. "5,8...uh..." Jyushimatsu scratched his head, then laughed. "Oops! Lost count!"

Oh, well! He could just start again tomorrow! Then he'd reach ten thousand for sure! He got his stuff together and started walking home. There were still people whispering. He ignored them.

If he hurried, he might make it back in time for lunch. Jyushimatsu quickened his pace. He wondered what his mom would be cooking. Whatever it was, it was gonna be good. While he was walking, it started to rain. He didn't try to move that much faster.

By the time he got home, Jyushimatsu was pretty soaked. "I'm home!" he shouted as he entered the house. "Muscle! Muscle! Hustle! Hustle!" He took his shoes off by the door. He made his way upstairs, water dripping behind him.

Jyushimatsu open the bedroom door. "Hiiiii!" Choromatsu and Karamatsu were the only ones in the room. Choromatsu stared wide-eyed at the puddle on the floor. "Jyushimatsu! You're dripping wet!" Jyushimatsu laughed and walked past him to where his clothes were kept. Choromatsu looked out into the hallway. "You got water EVERYWHERE!"

Jyushimatsu began to pull out some dry clothes. Karamatsu left the room, saying something about getting towels. Jyushimatsu wasn't paying attention to what he said exactly. He pulled his wet shirt up over his head. While he changed, he could hear Choromatsu muttering in the hallway while Karamatsu offered towels.

It was as Jyushimatsu pulled on his yellow hoodie that Karamatsu entered the room again. "Jyushimatsu," he exclaimed, "I have brought you a towel! For if we leave your hair cold and damp, you may surely catch a cold!" Jyushimatsu nodded. He didn't take the towel, however. He started to pull on his shorts.

Karamatsu began to dry his hair for him. "Hey!" Jyushimatsu said with a laugh. "Stop it! Tickles!"

Karamatsu chuckled. "I'm sorry, my little Jyushimatsu, but I cannot let you catch a cold!" Jyushimatsu continued to object between giggles. Downstairs, he could hear someone enter the front door.

"Hey, Fappymatsu! You look like that chick from that one Disney movie!" It must be Osomatsu.

"Shut up, you idiot older brother!"

He could hear Osomatsu laugh. "Why's there water everywhere, anyway?"

"Jyushimatsu got soaked in the rain."

The towel was suddenly removed from his head. Karamatsu chuckled. Jyushimatsu supposed his hair was almost as messy as Ichimatsu's. He smoothed it down with his sleeves. It was probably still messy, but he could take care of that later.

Before Karamatsu could try to comb his hair for him, Jyushimatsu ducked out of reach and exited the room. "I'm going to the bathroom," he said as he left. On his way, he passed by Osomatsu using a towel as a whip while Choromatsu fought to get it back. He entered the bathroom and closed the door behind him. He looked at his reflection in the mirror.

His hair was messy, alright. It was actually messier than Ichimatsu's. Jyushimatsu tried to use his fingers to pull out knots and smooth it down. At some point, he made eye contact with himself in the mirror. He froze. His eyes looked tired.

It wasn't normal for Jyushimatsu to look tired like this. He was normally an energetic ball of sunshine. Tired did not suit him. Neither did sad, for that matter. He was pulled out of his thoughts by knocking on the door. "A minute!" he said as he quickly smoothed his hair down.

It was a whole 30 seconds before the door was opened, revealing Ichimatsu. "Hi, Ichimatsu nii-san!" Jyushimatsu said with a wave. Ichimatsu grunted and nodded. Jyushimatsu walked past him out of the room. He could have sworn he felt Ichimatsu's eyes on him the whole way.

He went back to the bedroom. When he got there, he found Choromatsu whipping Osomatsu with a towel of his own. "How do you like that!" Choromatsu shouted with a smile, "Not funny now, is it!?"

"No! No!" Osomatsu laughed, "It's hilarious!" He tried to fight back with his towel. Karamatsu was watching them, trying to look cool. It was at this moment that Jyushimatsu decided to make his presence know.

"Hi!" Choromatsu turned to look at him. As soon as he did, Osomatsu snapped his towel right on Choromatsu's behind. He shrieked. "OSOMATSU!" Jyushimatsu laughed. His brothers were so much fun.

Todomatsu made it home just before dinner. Jyushimatsu went on and on about the "towel war," which was basically Osomatsu and Choromatsu snapping towels at each other. "And then Osomatsu nii-san got Choromatsu nii-san right in the ass!" Choromatsu grumbled, and Osomatsu snickered. Todomatsu giggled.

"I wish I was there to see that!" he said. Before anyone could ask why he wasn't there, he quickly added, "What happened next?"

"Choromatsu screamed like a girl!" Osomatsu said with a sly smile. Everyone but Choromatsu laughed. Even their parents snickered at their table.

Choromatsu slammed his hands on the table. "I DID NOT!" he snapped, "I beat your ass, and you know it!"

"Yeah, after you screamed like a girl!"

"SHUT UP! I COULD BEAT YOUR ASS AGAIN!" Todomatsu laughed at the display. Those two just don't stop. Choromatsu looked like he was ready to throw his food at the eldest brother. Karamatsu stood up, and Todomatsu had to keep himself from groaning. He was probably going to try to play the "cool guy" again.

"Brothers, do not fight! Let us finish this wonderful meal that-" Choromatsu threw a piece of shrimp. Osomatsu easily blocked it with his hand. He laughed.

"Oh come on! That was weak!" Choromatsu growled and threw another piece of shrimp. Osomatsu once again deflected it. Todomatsu laughed at them. Osomatsu and Choromatsu had started some sort of food fight. Karamatsu was still trying to play peace keeper. Ichimatsu stole his food when he wasn't looking.

Jyushimatsu, oddly enough, wasn't trying to get into the fight himself. He just silently moved his food to Choromatsu's plate. That seemed a bit...off. No. No, it was fine. It wasn't strange for Jyushimatsu to share food with them. This was just his way of getting into the fight. Yes, that was it. Jyushimatsu was fine.


	10. The Time Jyushimatsu Helped Todomatsu

**I've already written so many chapters of this, but I keep forgetting to post here. Also, I'M NOT DEAD!**

 **Warning: Eating disorders**

Todomatsu was the youngest Matsuno. He was a sextuplet. One of six. That's the way things were throughout their childhood. But now, things were changing. Once they entered middle school, things started to change. There was no longer one class with them all together. They still shared some classes, but they were mostly on their own. The time apart led them each to develope interests of their own.

Osomatsu seemed to much more interested in girls. Karamatsu read alot of plays by Shakespeare. Choromatsu read manga and idol magazines. Ichimatsu liked anything with cats. Jyushimatsu was starting to become obsessed with baseball.

Todomatsu himself was attracted to cute things. His eldest brother called him "girly," but he was ok with that. Guys at school called him names sometimes, but those didn't make sense most of the time. Things like "fag" and "slut." One guy called him a "fat freak" once.

High school was going to be the major turning point. His brothers were already talking about the things they'd do, each having their own plans. Todomatsu had to make a name for himself. He couldn't be the "baby brother" forever. He decided to be the cute one.

There wasn't much that could be done about the uniform. So Todomatsu got the cutest backpack, the cutest pencils, the cutest erasers, the cutest anything. He tried anything he could to get people to call him cute, but when school started, no one seemed to notice. What was he doing wrong? He remembered being called a "fat freak." Was that it? It had to be.

Todomatsu started eating less. He had to lose weight. After a week a eating less, he saw no difference. He ate less and less. Eventually he just stopped eating. His family would gave him odd looks at dinner.

"Todomatsu, are you feeling okay?"

"I'm fine," he'd say, poking at his food, "I'm just not hungry."

That happened every night, but it was fine. Todomatsu was fine. He just needed to lose some weight. Sometimes his head would feel dizzy, but he was still fine.

One night, he was reading a fashion magazine in their room. "Todomatsu! Todomatsu!" He looked up to see Jyushimatsu waving excitedly. "There's cake downstairs!"

Todomatsu tried not to furrow his eyebrows. "..cake?"

Jyushimatsu nodded energetically. "And it's decorated nice, too! You'll like it!"

Todomatsu thought it over. They'd probably make him eat some if he went to check it out, but...he did really want to see it...

"Alright," he said, "I'll come look." Jyushimatsu cheered, and they both went downstairs. They entered the main room and saw the cake on the table. Ichimatsu sat quietly in the corner. Karamatsu and Choromatsu were sitting around the table. Osomatsu, surprisingly, was sitting two feet from the table.

"Not until everyone's here," he muttered to himself, "Not until everyone's here."

Todomatsu studied the cake on the table. It was a round cake. It was pink. There were white icing roses around the top and bottom rim. A small pile of strawberries sat in the middle. It looked cute. He knew the cake wouldn't last long, so he took it in while he could.

Jyushimatsu loudly made their presence known. Osomatsu looked at them with some sort of look of relief. "They're here! Yes! Now let me eat it!" Ichimatsu aproached the table while Osomatsu cut the cake.

Jyushimatsu grabbed Todomatsu by the wrist and led him to the table. He pushed a plate of cake towards the youngest. The cake was vanilla. Todomatsu looked away. The sight of food made him quessy.

"I-" Jyushimatsu shoved a forkful of food into his mouth before he could finish. The taste of strawberry and vanilla floated around his mouth.

"It's good, right?" Jyushimatsu asked. Todomatsu nodded. It was amazing. Strawberry had been his favorite. And nothing went better with strawberry than vanilla. Jyushimatsu used the fork to get a bite for himself.

Todomatsu was wary of swallowing. He really didn't want to. Jyushimatsu held another bite of cake in front of him. Todomatsu swallowed, and opened his mouth to accept it. Jyushimatsu continued to share his cake with Todomatsu like that.

Everytime he took a bite, he lost himself in the heavenly flavor and texture. Everytime he swallowed, he was filled with dread. When their slice of cake was finished, Jyushimatsu offered him a strawberry. Todomatsu shook his head, but smiled in gratitude.

What was he going to do? Just how much cake did he eat? He could feel it sitting in his stomach. He felt terrible.

"Hey, Todomatsu," Osomatsu called, "You feeling ok?"

"Yeah! I'm okay!"

His other brothers were looking at him, skeptical. "You look like you're about to get sick."

"Yeah." Sick...Maybe...Would that work?...No...No, that's not something someone who's okay will do...but...

Todomatsu calmly got up. "I'm going to the bathroom," he said smoothly. He walked out of the room and calmly as he could. He wanted to run and get to the bathroom as fast as possible. He forced himself to calmly walk through the hallway.

He entered the bathroom and quietly closed the door. He took a deep breath. Okay...How was he gonna do this? Todomatsu walked over to the toilet and sat down in front of it. Okay...so just...take his fingers and...yeah, okay...easy. He lifted his fingers and stared at them for a moment. This was going to be unpleasant.

Todomatsu shoved his fingers down his throat. It made him gag. He hardly had to move his hand before the contents of his stomach were emptied in front of him. He stared into the toilet. The cake didn't have a lot of time to digest, so the looked like pinkish gunk with a greenish tint. A bit had gotten onto his fingers, and his hand was just covered in saliva.

This was gross. He was disgusting for doing it. Todomatsu choked on a sob. The smell from the toilet reached his nose. The smell was so foul, it made him gag. God, it was awful!

There was a knock on the door. "Todomatsu?" His body went rigid, trying to will the dry heaves to stop. He couldn't let them see him like this. The door slowly creaked open. Todomatsu squeezed his eyes shut. He didn't want to see which brother it was that walked in. He could hardly handle this already.

A hand was gently put on Todomatsu's back. He took a sharp inhale. "Totty?" Sobs suddenly became impossible to hold back. He felt soothing circles rubbed into his back. "It's okay, Totty."

No. No, it wasn't. Nothing was okay with what he did just a few minutes ago. It was absolutely disgusting. He was disgusting and fat and-

"No, you're not!"

Todomatsu blinked, confused. Did he...say that out loud? He looked to his brother at his side. "You're not fat, Totty!" the brother continued, grasping his shoulders, "You're so skinny! It's actually kinda scary!" Todomatsu was speechless for a moment. Tear-blurred vision made it hard to see anything, but there was just something that told him this was Jyushimatsu.

"B-but...but..." Todomatsu stammered, "how...how can..." He was still trying to choke back sobs. It was a bit hard to breathe, and his head was spinning. Jyushimatsu slowly pulled him into a hug, as if he was afraid he'd break at any moment. Todomatsu's chin rested on his shoulder.

He wasn't sure what to do now. "It's alright, Todomatsu," Jyushimatsu reassured him, "You'll be okay. You'll get better!"

"B-b-bu-bu-b-b..." Todomatsu couldn't find any words. What did it even mean to 'get better'? That he wouldn't make himself throw up any more? That he'd actually eat food again? "I-I-I-I" Could he even do that? Was it even possible?

"Jyushimatsu. Todomatsu," A brother was standing at the door. "Is everything alright?"

"Todomatsu got sick," Jyushimatsu answered.

"Oh-uh.." Something about his nervousness and awkwardness just screamed Choromatsu. "I'll, uh, I'll let the others know." He left the doorway.

"J-jyushimatsu?" Todomatsu said once he was gone.

"Mm hm?"

"I," he swallowed. "I did that o-on purpose..."

"Yeah, I figured that."

"B-b-but," Todomatsu wrapped his arms around his brother. "Pl-please don't tell!"

Jyushimatsu's hold on him got a slight bit tighter. "I won't. I won't..." They stayed like that for a bit. Todomatsu wasn't sure how long it was before another brother entered the bathroom holding a cup of water. He handed Todomatsu the water and sat down on the floor.

The brother rubbed his finger under his nose in such a way that instantly let Todomatsu know it was Osomatsu. He started talking about something. Todomatsu felt so tired and drained, he barely paid attention. He picked up on things like "should have known something was up" and "should go get more strawberries." He was just dozing off, when he was gently shook awake.

"Come on, Todomatsu! There's soup for you!" Jyushimatsu pulled him up by the wrist and guided him to their dinning table. All of the other brothers immediately put their attention on Todomatsu and Jyushimatsu as they entered the room. Todomatsu was seated down infront of a steaming bowl of what smelled like chicken broth.

He kept his hands in his lap, scared that if he tried to lift them up, they would shake like crazy. Jyushimatsu sat down next to him. He picked up the spoon, and dipped it into the bowl. He held the spoon up to Todomatsu's mouth. Todomatsu gratefully accepted it.


End file.
